


It gets better

by Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Gay Pride, M/M, inclussion, uplifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27241237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Succubusphan/pseuds/Nefertiti1052
Summary: Dan writes an open letter to the community for Pride Month.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17
Collections: Im-PROMPT-u Phandom Creator Challenge 2020





	It gets better

Life before coming out seems like such a distant memory. So many years of suffering, not being accepted by my peers, by my loved ones, but more importantly, by myself felt like literal hell. In that hell, I found someone, someone who held my hand and said he was never letting go - and he didn’t. He made all the difference. Even when I sank into darkness, he was always there, shining like a beacon of hope, reminding me that everything would pass and he would be there. Then, I came out. I was lucky, I took my time and did it when I was ready, it was liberating and it was also not the end of the story.

Coming out never ends because you keep finding yourself in situations where you have to keep doing it, to coworkers, new friends, even random strangers, but it’s very freeing if you are safe and able to do it, even to yourself, it’s a part of you worth knowing and loving. It’s opening the door to love as well.

A relationship can exist in the closet but it’s so much better when you have the privilege, and yes, it is a privilege not everyone has - sadly - but coming out of the closet, as an individual, and later as a couple, is something that can change your life. In some ways, it's like starting over or falling in love again. You get to meet each other in different ways, who are we after we come out? Are we happier? More carefree? Do we carry less weight on our shoulders? 

That first time holding hands in public, even if it is just in front of your friends, or family, feels like such a huge step. It’s like a constant fall that you keep waiting to happen but for most people, it never comes. Nobody is calling the church, or building a stake; there might be some disapproving looks from more reticent family members but overall, if they love you, it should all be magically solved with your coming out, right? _Wrong_.

Even though some people will be super accepting and will be open to your guidance in the use of certain words or explanation of what being gay or trans actually means beyond people’s stupid assumptions, some will try their best and still fall short. There will always be some people, usually of a certain age, that will remind you that they love you but still keep their prejudice about who we are as a community, about how we live, how we love and will always find anything that is not straight and cis to be off. 

The message often comes as “We love you even though you live the wrong way, or you are wrong, or you don’t abide by societies expectations of just getting married to the opposite sex and start popping babies.” Sometimes it feels so condescending, like they are speaking from a place of moral superiority when in fact it’s fueled by ignorance and, to an extent, by resisting change. Remember that they don’t get to decide if you are valid or not and that if you don’t want them in your life anymore, you can always cut them off. I assure you that there is a family for you out there, even if they are not related to you.

We are not new, we are not a trend - we have always existed - but the fact that we no longer hide, that we are no longer putting up with their oppression is new. We’re here, we’re queer and we’re filled with existential fear, but never afraid of them. 

It is thanks to the people throughout history who decided to take a stance that we are where we are now. We have rights and we will keep fighting for more. LGBTQIA+ rights are human rights. We deserve love and respect and we will get it, for all of us. 

To my gays, my lesbians, my bi people, my trans folks, my queers, my intersex, my aros and aces, and anyone else who doesn’t fit the norm, I see you, you are valid, you are loved. You don’t need to come out for that to be true, you don’t need to date or have sex with anyone for that to be true. Keep fighting the good fight, keep existing, if you are having a bad time, reach out and please remember that it gets better.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Im-PROMPT-u phandom creator challenge hosted by the @phandomreversebang. Day 27: Pride + It’s a good thing to be strange. 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: [Succubusphan](http://Succubusphan.tumblr.com/)
> 
> In case you wish to reblog the fic: [Tumblr Link](https://succubusphan.tumblr.com/post/633193437042262016/it-gets-better)
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!!!!


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